"Beyond Dreaming - 05 Trees and Moons" by Meike de Nooy

As it was still early there were very few priestesses about and they all avoided her when she sat down at the edge of the round spring in the centre of their temple. She was searching for the calm within her, searching the thoughts that weren’t her own but came to her with a certainty that, where ever it was they came from, were always right and came to pass at any time in the near future or had occurred in the past.

The girl sitting on the floor surrounded by poppies and bluebells looked up, bluegreen eyes wide with terror. Leila! She thought and suddenly she felt a surge of affection flow through her body, she felt an overpowering need to comfort the girl and caress her. All these emotions surging through her body brought her concentration to a halt and she was rudely pulled back out of the shadowy chamber and pulled back into the bright morning light now shining through the roof into the water. She winced and thought in desperate confusion. Who is Leila? Whose feelings did I feel, those of a boy? It hadn’t been love, but definitely deep feelings of tenderness. She took a deep breath and shook her head. She had been looking for answers to her dream and all she got were more riddles. Who was Leila and where had she been when looking through the boy’s eyes? It was no ordinary chamber and she was sure she had never seen it before. She had felt an intruder on private feelings. She had never realised she was feeling a specific persons feelings or thinking another persons thoughts. And what was it that this Leila had to do with the young black girl that had been called Thetys by the foreigner who had also noticed her presence and told her to keep, whatever she might find, quiet so that lives woven from the strands of the moon wouldn’t get tangled up where they shouldn’t? "Wait and learn" he had said and she had retreated, shocked by someone else’s knowledge of her presence. Had it really been a dream then? Was she travelling in someone else’s thoughts or dreams?

Sweat dripped from her forehead and she jumped when Shiwa touched her hair softly.

"Are you okay" she whispered.

Illya nodded. "There is so much I don’t understand" she whispered back in despair and let herself be pulled back against Shiwa’s motherly bosom. She kept stroking her hair until Illya was breathing quite normally again and said to her: "Ah girl; who will ever understand what exactly the purpose of our life is and what the reason for our gifts and talents.

You will not be lonely much longer though, I met a girl, born under the Ash tree like you who ran by the spring and saw without training the way into the future of someone she knew well. She was frightened but she will be back. She is like you my dear, with a lot of energy easily spent but a fast learner and wise beyond her years. She understands like you the connections between ourselves our planet and out universe and feels pain and joy of others, man or animal. She won’t be long now. But let me take you outside, you need to regain some strength. Maybe you’ve been trying a little too hard lately.

"I’ll be glad of your company" Illya whispered as she let herself being helped up, and holding on to each other like the closest of friends they walked into the garden.

Will anybody ever feel truly comfortable around me except for Shiwa? She wondered and held on a little tighter still. It was her life she supposed, it was her destiny.

Shiwa left the girl outside and went to her study. She had been appointed priestess many years ago now and was mostly in charge of what happened in and around the temple. Her main concern at the moment was the birth tree charts of the people selected for the great moon ritual. She felt it was going to be hard on them and that there was more to the ritual this year than there had been to any other one in a very long time. She knew the moon ritual would set of a whole set of events. Which lives was she going to disrupt? Why did she have to pick these people and what fate was it that wanted to bring two people from different races together?

She had watched them both closely and was pretty sure they were right for… really, what was it they were right for? She didn’t even now! She had just been blindly following tradition and studied all the other ritual histories. Leila, born under the sign of the willow tree which is associated to the moon, in all it’s phases and so symbolizes the change of feelings and "moods" as time passes, a quiet but smart girl who listens to her instincts rather than intellectual information. Would she dream? Would she know the importance of her dreams? She wished she was allowed to talk to the girl before the ritual but custom forbade she do more than look and investigate.

Rancha had been quite hard to track. She liked him, he had the masculine energy round him that people born under the sign of the Holly tree had and he was so close to the earth, solid, matter of fact, reliable (something she couldn’t check but which his tree sign told about his nature) and had a generosity of spirit but also the physical form of a warrior. He was respected by most people and had quite some status being born a son to the queens most trusted attendant and master at arms. He had an air of authority but didn’t seem distant or inapproachable, only, a bit quiet.

What a couple, she couldn’t help thinking about it, the different skin colour the difference between their lives and the fact that she was putting strangers together both knowing what was expected of them but still in quite an awkward place and an awkward situation. She had been unsure about this all along but Illya had confirmed the rightness of it. She had seen it in the moon spring, heard it in her mind. She had never failed.

Shiwa gathered all her paperwork together. She was done! She shouldn’t spend more time on this as there was more work to be done. She’d have to make sure they were both ready. How perfect everything fitted, Leila, white skinned as she was would hardly need to be painted and Rancha having his shiny brown skin wouldn’t need to be covered with earth. Their signs were closest to the roles they played in the ritual, moon and earth, and finally they were both begotten in ritual, neither by the one they would think of as father.

Eunie disliked the disorder of her little house when she returned home and so the first thing she did was throw everything out and dust and clean and then put all the flowers and herbs in place and the sweet smell of plants was once again in the air. It was how it was supposed to smell and Eunie took her tea and settled herself with her newly purchased book on a pillow on the floor with her back against the wall. Concentrated on a chapter about sun and rain rituals was the way Leila found her when she entered the door which had been left open, totally unlike Eunie, which was the reason Leila walked on in to check if everything was alright.

Eunie jumped up when Leila produced a small cough to let her know that someone had entered.

"Oh it’s you" Eunie sighed "how did you get in? I didn’t leave the door open did I?"

"Yes you did and that is why I was worrying and walked on in but you seem fine to me! Did you clean the place?"

"Yeah I’m fine and I did clean the place!"

They both had an uncomfortable feeling at the same time and as Leila shifted her weight from one foot to the other feeling the silence was too long Eunie said: "Do sit down Leila, it talks a lot easier and I’m sure that’s what you came here for isn’t it?"

She nodded.

I’ll get you some tea and then I’ll hear you okay?

"K’" Leila replied and sat herself down on another pillow. She inhaled the smell of fresh herbs deeply. Eunies house had the smell of the woods only it was much stronger here.

When Eunie returned with tea they both sat quiet for quite some time.

"You gonna tell me what’s on your mind?" Eunie asked after quite some time.

Leila had been thinking of what exactly it was she wanted to ask. She wanted explanations. She wanted to understand her dreams and most of all she wanted to understand her life.

"I’m not sure where to start" Leila said and looked at Eunie for help.

"Take your time girl, there’s no hurry!"

Leila started with giving Eunie the piece of paper on which she had written down her dream. Eunie studied it carefully.

"Who else knows?" she asked.

"Nobody…"

"You sure?"

"Oh no, Shasti knows, but why do you ask?"

"Because you’ve been marked haven’t you? You have the same little lizard in your neck that I have ever since you had your dream?!"

"What does it mean Eunie can you tell me?"

"I’m afraid not girl" Eunie suddenly looked at her full of sympathy. "Mine was stuck on by little peaces of different kind of herbs. They were supposed to heal the wound I had taken on during a fight for my life, all in that dream of course. I don’t know what the kiss meant. The life you’re going to lead will eventually tell you that. You will have a solitary life though. You’ll lead the life of a sorceress, a beloved of the earth and servant to the moon never to be with… Leila nodded and interrupted before Eunie could finish her sentence. "I suppose I’ll have to leave it at that then."

Eunie swallowed the last few words "For once you’re satisfied with no real answer?" she asked with real surprise.

"No" Leila said "but I think there are more important things that I need to figure out right now."

"More important than this?" Eunie asked and half muttered under her breath "What have you been up to in these few days girl. I can hardly leave you alone."

"I’ve been selected for the moon ritual!" Leila blurted out feeling there was no other way to say it.

"You what?!" Eunie said. "How’d that happen? How could they do that to someone who is not already prepared for marriage and sworn to be with a man? She was at a loss of words, didn’t know what to say. Leila had never experienced that on Eunies part yet!

"Calm down" she said, almost laughing. There’s nothing I can do about it and nothing you can either. It’s a special year and so tradition is being followed for the optimal results I suppose. I just want to know, can you help me? Is there anything that you have that you can do to make it easy on me?"

She wondered how she could ask this of Eunie with such a calm voice and such a straight face. So did Eunie.

The girl had matured so quickly over these past few years she could hardly keep up, but this! "You’ve seemingly accepted your faith haven’t you?"

"Yes, I suppose I have" Leila said still wondering where this self control came from.

"Le’ me think" Eunie was lost in thought for a moment, then, after a while she sighed and said with an unhappy frown: "There’s nothing much I can do except making sure you don’t get pregnant. When was your moon flow?"

I think it’ll finish tomorrow she said, why?"

"Ah, good" Eunie said "At least you won’t find yourself with child then. It’s too soon for that."

"Too soon for what?"

"Too soon for your womb to be ready to accept the seed that will be planted there."

Leila frowned. She felt ignorant in this type of conversation and also like she was talking about somebody else and that it was none of her concern what it was that was going to happen. It all seemed so unreal.

Eunie sat rubbing her lizard mark unconsciously; for once Leila could read emotion from her face. She was a master when it came to hiding emotions but now Leila felt it was affecting Eunie more than it was her.

What was it that the priestesses were up to this year? Eunie had felt the commotion around something and the fact that this year the moon came closer to the earth than ever, meant that her power would be close at hand and very ready for use. What were the priestesses up to and what was the reason for the all of a sudden very traditional moon ritual.

She had dreamt the fighting dream again last night. She knew that she was fighting the moons powers and that she wouldn’t be strong enough to win, but she knew she was buying somebody time. Who? Why? She had no answers and she couldn’t find any. After all these years of collecting wisdom she didn’t know what to do and didn’t know who to turn to for help.

She was angry at herself for not knowing, but what could she do about it? She couldn’t do anything at all. She felt so powerless yet again! Why she cried into herself. Why do I fail the ones I love every time again! Why can’t I be capable to save those I love from... From what! She scolded at herself you don’t even know what you want to protect Leila from!

She hadn’t noticed tears of frustration dripping down her cheeks and hardly heard Leila’s concerned voice asking: "You alright?" And only shook her head again and again

When Leila, feeling awkward about the entire situation which she didn’t understand, put her arm around Eunie she flinched, pulled away saying suddenly in quite an angry, almost frightened voice: "Don’t touch me!"

Shocked by her own reaction and unusual outburst of sentiment she apologised and walked upstairs.

Leila felt bad and was thinking she shouldn’t have tried comforting Eunie as it was probably bad enough for her that there had been someone around to witness her crying. But then what was she supposed to do? Sit around and watch and wait. And now what? Should she go up and follow Eunie? Considering her reaction just now she didn’t think that was such a good idea. She thought it best to go home. She’d come back later to see if Eunie was okay.

Softly she closed the door behind her and took a deep breath from the fresh air outside and stood still for a moment still wandering where this calm in her came from. But then, she couldn’t do much about it so why worry now, enough to worry about when the moment was there. The more she thought about it the more worried she got though, and so, with a little effort she pushed the subject from her mind.

Eunie sat on her little attic and tried to get a grip on feelings. She felt bad about her behaviour to Leila, she knew she had meant well but how could she possibly tell the girl that the reason she couldn’t touch her was because when she was emotional the touch of any human being would drain her power from her. How could she even start to explain that every sorceress had a weakness like that and so, Leila would have one too? It wasn’t her place to tell her this, it wasn’t wise to tell someone unprepared and untrained and it was usually a long path before the weakness in a sorceress was found.

However, she felt lonely and had yearned for the loving tenderness which Leila had showed towards her but which could be so fatal. Why was nothing ever easy?